Did the events in our country today really happen?

When I look back at these posts months or even a year from now, I truly hope that this will be the only post that discusses the scary situation that our country is going through. I would be remiss in not documenting the events of the day.

How does a society filled with people who work so hard to spread kindness also be filled with so many who spread hate. Do they know that it is hate that they are spreading? Maybe they don't see it that way. Do they see their ideas and opinions as only the right ones? How did we get this way?

In the world of early childhood, we strongly support using problem-solving to solve conflicts. We start off each school year welcoming children who, in some cases, have never met before. Their teachers work hard to help them to identify conflict and then come up with and agree on solutions to the problem. Personally, I don't like using the concept of "sharing" when it comes to classroom materials. You can share a cookie by breaking it into pieces and you can share space by making room for someone to join. It's hard to share a toy that can't be broken in half. I prefer the term turn-taking. Children learn to take turns with coveted materials in the classroom.

Turn-taking takes a lot of practice. When there is conflict in a preschool classroom, teachers show children by example, how to come up with solutions to the problem. At the beginning of the school year, this can sometimes be a very time-consuming process. It takes a lot of strength to resist solving the problem for the kids, or saying things like, "just share it or I will take it away from the both of you!" Instead, teachers persist and facilitate as children learn to talk about the situation and come up with an agreeable solution together. They learn, at a very young age, that concessions sometimes need to be made in order for the problem to be solved. One or both parties have to give something up in the process.

In some cases, the entire class works together to come up with creative ways to take turns with a new favorite toy in class. They learn to create things like sign-up sheets or use timers.

If three- and four-year-olds can manage to do this, why is it so difficult for some adults to do this? When a young child bites, it typically means that they are lacking the vocabulary needed for expressing their frustration. Most adults should already have the vocabulary needed to express frustration without physical damage to objects and people. Maybe they do have the vocabulary, but make the choice to express themselves with violence.

Imagine that for a minute. Choosing to become violent. Choosing to listen to and follow one idea or one message rather than hearing both sides and finding a way to make things work. Imagine for a moment, deliberately hurting another person. Deliberate actions. Intentional.

I once shared the story of the two mice who fell into a cup of cream. One mouse gave up and drowned, while the other swam and swam as fast as he was able to in order to churn the cream into butter and climb out of the cream. Let's not drown. Let's run away from negativity and hatred and run as fast as we can towards positivity and kindness. Let's not give in and drown in the hate.

I challenge everyone who reads this to spread some kindness tomorrow. Maybe you will hold the door for someone when walking into a building. Maybe you will call someone to check-in and see how they are doing. Maybe you will make a special meal for someone. You might even pay for some stranger's coffee! Whatever you do, know that each small act of kindness is just another turn in the cream and you are helping to make that butter. You are helping to save our society from drowning in the cream.

Thanks for listening! xoxo